Deadpool vs. Superman/Batman vs. Suicide Squad: Trailer Face-Off!

Three epic trailers enter the comic cage, but only one can leave. I breakdown the three massive titans of Comic-Con 2015 and we decide who made the most epic trailer. Fan kids will SQUEEEEEEEEE!
Our First Contender:
I'm going to say tacos until you give me money!
I’m going to say tacos until you give me money!

Deadpool (Leaked trailer)

Hailing from: Marvel Studios
Weight: 300 Tacos
Fighting Style: Sass!
Powers: More sass! Ninja abilities! Crude humor!
Weakness: Ryan Reynolds’ acting spectrum
Breakdown: It took me a few tries to find a legit leaked trailer that wasn’t just a troll-made video. The only one I could find is a videotaping of a projector screen. Luckily, I was able to still see, feel, and hear the true Deadpool legacy.
Ryan Reynolds starts off as a scared cancer patient named Wade Wilson. He undergoes some type of experiment to make him “better” (side effects include sass, ninja skills, and one liners). The doctor tells him he will need a sense of humor to survive the experiment.
Cut to Ryan Reynolds dropping some one liners and cracking jokes. Then he’s sitting on a highway rail rocking out to some tunes and drawing a picture. He drops down, landing on an SUV, and makes another comment about how he wears a red suit so no one can see him bleed. Then (of course) he cracks a potty joke.
After a few F-bombs, the video cuts to some flips, kicks, and bullets. Cue the cameo from X-men’s Colossus and a female named Megasonic Teenage Warhead. Deadpool makes a quip about how awesome her name is.
Next we come to some fights in a burning building. Stan Lee introduces a stripper at a club. Deadpool talks about old lady pants and proceeds to some R-rated love-making. In a shot of the post-cancer Wade Wilson, he and friend exchange some quips about how ugly he looks. More F-bombs, crude remarks and obligatory fight scenes with swords ensue. Deadpool shoots three people in the head and remarks, “I’m touching myself tonight.” End trailer.

(Caution: Trailer has F-bombs, gore, sexuality, and other inappropriate language.)

Introducing...The Dark Sloucher versus Captain Stand Straight
Introducing…The Dark Sloucher versus Captain Stand Straight

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Hailing from: DC
Weight: 70 Justices per man
Fighting Style: Losing one’s parents and not getting over it
Powers: Just put Superman down for one of everything
Weakness: Lex Luthor’s 90’s haircut
Breakdown: The trailer opens with cautious monologue about how Superman is out of control with his powers and how he cannot be trusted. Superman is dangerous. Bruce “Affleck” Wayne runs through Gotham. Laser eyes slice a building in half. Bruce Wayne is miffed that Superman lasered his building.
Someone writes Bruce Wayne a threatening letter about how he let the writer’s family die, then monologue from Alfred commences about how good men turn to darkness. A shot of a batarang and an explanation about how Batman is a terrorist flash across the screen.
Perry White yells at Batman for something about Superman fighting Batman. Lois Lane says the world needs Superman because he stands for hope. Superman saves a family from an epic flood then does an impression of the ascended Jesus. Martha Kent says Superman needs to be a savior or nothing at all because the world doesn’t deserve him. Superman saves some people from an exploding space launch. Lex Luthor, dressed as a very flamboyant Riddler, explains that demons come from the sky. A picture of Zod’s corpse appears.
Bruce Wayne thinks of coming out of retirement (again?). We see an old Robin costume covered with yellow graffiti saying “Ha Ha. Jokes on you.” Batman gets ready to go to war with Superman because he believes Superman is too dangerous.
Cut to some horses and a scuba diver. Bruce Wayne relives Joe Chill murdering his parents. Things explode, Lois Lane shows up, and a shot of Wonder Woman clinking her wrists together and creating an explosion commence. Batman is in Iraq fighting SWAT teams and chops a guy’s arm. Then Lex Luthor looks at a piece of kryptonite.
Batman curb stomps Superman through a roof window. Wonder Woman holds a sword. Superman is charging with blazing eyes. Lex Luthor talks about how Superman versus Batman is god versus man, day versus night, and black versus white and finishes with, “The red capes are coming!” Superman walks up to the Batmobile and rips the top off. Batman stands up with bad posture. This just got real.

(Trailer is safe for all ages, but contains some dark themes.)

Captain Shooter, The Incredible Blonde and The Fresh Prince of Power
Captain Shooter, The Incredible Blonde, and The Fresh Prince of Power

Suicide Squad

Hailing From: DC
Weight: A whole bunch of people you probably don’t care about
Fighting Style: Being mean and angry
Powers: Cosplay, firing guns, being Will Smith
Weakness: (See Weight)
The Breakdown: We open to a government meeting at a steak restaurant. Amanda Waller says she has a team of villains who are in prison. Eerie music introduces us to shots of prison cells while Amanda explains that these select villains live in the shadows and she can manipulate them to do her bidding. Cops walk into a large cage.
Cue eerie singing as Harley Quinn practices hanging from her cage like an acrobat. Diablo has some fire. Will Smith takes his anger out on a punching bag. Killer Croc looks like a Watermelon had a baby with The Thing. Harley asks Amanda if she is the devil. Guns fire. Will Smith wears a Fresh Prince hat. Deadshot rappels down a building. Guy in a goat mask shoots up a warehouse.
A hex-filled creepy Sorceress sits in a satanic bathtub. Closeup of Harley in high heels walking with the group. Will Smith uses the title of the movie then he casually remarks, “Let’s go save the world.” Guys with guns, Will Smith hugging a child, and Harley Quinn dancing provocatively fill the screen. Helicopters fly by and we see a deflated basketball in a hoodie…or Killer Croc. Harley uses a baseball bat pretending it’s a shotgun.
Cut to a Panda firing a machine gun then guy dressed as Batman fires a machine gun. Katana swings a sword. More guys walk in, looking official, and Harley licks a metal bar. Some fast scenes ensue of people running and getting tortured. Katana stabs herself? Harley hogs the screen again and makes a saucy face and Batman rides on top of a sports car. More Harley. Action scenes. Harley banging her head against prison bars. Will Smith. Harley Quinn.
At the end, the Joker cackles. He shows up all cray-cray and says, “I’m not gonna kill you,  I am just going to hurt you really, really bad.”

(Trailer is safe for all ages but contains some dark themes and provocative scenes.)

Wallpaper

Will Smith’s Face: Regretting every decision he ever made!

Who Wins?

You might think this is an unfair fight because Deadpool was leaked footage from a cell phone, but I was actually impressed with that trailer.  Which is why…

3rd Place: Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

While it was refreshing seeing both Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent reprise their roles, living up to their legends, I feel like the trailer didn’t show a strong conflict. Superman is a reckless god and Batman is a reckless vigilante… I get it. But to have a movie where both of them duke it out is boring.
I wanted to see the real villain at play so they could work together. Lex Luthor looks like he would be better as Jimmy Olsen than the CEO of LexCorp. No amount of mysterious and edgy quotes will diminish that. Wonder Woman looks like a welcome addition, but I can’t help feel like she is only the counter balance to this testosterone party.

2nd Place: Deadpool

Deadpool is basically the Family Guy of superheroes. He says random and nonsensical hilarious things. Anyone can be random, but very few are brave enough. A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender throws a duck at him and yells, “More tacos!”
But I don’t hate this trailer. Deadpool is shown for who he truly is…a man battling with cancer and the doctors give him the choice of a lifetime. What ensues is fan service galore. He makes crude jokes, displays some sweet ninja moves, breaks the fourth wall, and shoots his gun. Cue the potty humor, sex jokes, and violence. While I think Marvel doesn’t need to make a rated-R hero to fit his character, I believe they are banking on getting a Ted audience. The jokes are trying a little too hard to be edgy and crude, which is not a reflection of the comic book character.
I think the hardest part is convincing the audience that Ryan Reynolds can play more than a white straight guy with subtle heroic leanings. In this trailer Ryan overcompensates. Bonus points for Ryan losing his GQ face to show the authentic Wade Wilson cancer survivor look.

1st Place: Suicide Squad

Keep in mind this is my opinion of the trailer. This movie could bomb hard and I am curious to see how they overcome the obstacle of having so many no-names.
The trailer does three things very well. It incorporates a dark and sinister music track to show off how freakin’ cool these villains are. Then it mixes it with fast shots of the characters living out their separate lives. No annoying dub bass drowning, but an actual emotionally tense sequence. Next the trailer shows off random tidbits that don’t actually spoil anything. The audience is kept guessing to what kind of hijinx the team will get into. It’s a wide variety of costumed characters, mysterious one liners, and heroes.
My only beef is that Harley Quinn and Will Smith are glorified in this trailer meaning that the writer probably doesn’t have a good use of the other characters. As a DC nerd, I would truly appreciate the spotlight on Captain Boomerang, Katana, and Diablo, but that doesn’t have any hype.
The trailer ends with some major fan service as it shows the twisted and maniacal Joker. He tickles our curiosity with a dark and psychopathic line that gave me chills.

Who do you think won?

Michael P M

I am a minister for Campus Ambassadors, a gymnastics customer service rep, a social media enthusiast and a writer. I try to collect obscure video games, I love comics and somewhere on Amazon I have a self published book. I am married to a beautiful and grounded woman. But most importantly, I have been seized by a great affection in the Lord.

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