Movie Dad Face-Off 2k16

10 Dads Enter... 1 Dad Leaves

Welcome to the first annual GUG Movie Dad Face-Off. A lot of actors have stepped into the role of being the loving, guarding and wisdom filled father. Which one will win the Best Dad Award?

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Bryan Mills

Movie: Taken

Stats:
Finding + 10
Killing + 10
Pros:
+ Never has to worry about losing a child at a park
+ Bringing dad to school on career day will easily make you the coolest student
Cons:
– The third time he tries to save you is lame
– Does his specific set of skills involve fixing the dishwasher?

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Evan Baxter

Movie: Evan Almighty
Stats:
Biblical Accuracy -3
Dolefulness +4
Office Management +6
Pros:
+ Knows Morgan Freeman
+ Yacht trips will rock
Cons:
– Does not prepare for bad weather on vacation trips
– Does not get much work done at the office

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Derek

Movie: The Tooth Fairy
Stats:
Make Believe +5
Ridiculously Ripped +7
Pros:
+ Has access to the supernatural world of fairy land
+ Can give a Rock Bottom to any child who is misbehaving
Cons:
– Not afraid to wear a tutu
– Bad at negotiating movie deals

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Brad Whitaker

Movie: Daddy’s Home
Stats:
Silly Faces +3
Rivalry + 8
Perk: Can make people laugh by getting himself injured
Pros:
+ Uses words and emotions to dissolve problems
+ Shows his feelings… a lot
Cons:
– Not afraid to use horrible jokes
– Gets into fights with Mark Wahlberg constantly

American Reunion

Jim’s Dad

Movie: American Pie
Stats:
Awkward +50
Humble + 10
Pros:
+ The only person to teach Jason Biggs about sexual education
+ Canadian
Cons:
– Gets into rivalries with Steve Martin
– Has raised a very inappropriate son

Road To Perdition Tom Hanks © 20th Century Fox

Michael Sullivan

Movie: Road to Perdition
Stats:
Sending “Messages” +3
Proper Gun Care +5
Family Business +2
Pros:
+ Good at teaching sons about the importance of the family business
+ Has great money-management and banking skills
Cons:
– You can never follow in his foot steps
– Not a very social person

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Cypher Raige

Movie: After Earth
Stats:
Independence + 4
Fresh + 3
Pros:
+ Great camping guide
+ Secret hip-hop talent
Cons:
– Does not pick the best father-and-son trips
– Tries to be cooler than his son

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Marlin

Movie: Finding Nemo
Stats:
Hide + 5
Seek + 1
Perk: Knowledge of sea turtles grows exponentially
Pros:
+ A master at hide and seek
+ Has compassion on the mentally unstable
Cons:
– Not very good at keeping track of his things
–  Picks poor company to be friends with

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Splinter

Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Stats:
Ninja + 13
Cleanliness – 3
Pros:
+ Teaches all his sons honor and physical fitness
+ Not afraid to let his teenagers roam New York City by themselves
Cons:
– Has never given any of his children proper clothing
– Is an enabler of a poor pizza diet

Left to right: Mackenzie Foy and Matthew McConaughey in INTERSTELLAR, from Paramount Pictures and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Cooper

Movie: Interstellar
Stats:
Space +5
Time + 6
Logic – 2
Pros:
+ Always teaches his kids to follow their dreams
+ His kids always get to go on cool science trips
Cons:
– Sometimes he makes no sense
– Do not get attached to him
Honorable Mention: (Not a movie dad)

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Walter White

TV: Breaking Bad
Stats:
Chemistry +30
Entrepreneurship +20
Negotiation +5
Pros:
+ He can get you a very comfy summer job
+ Cares a great deal about health insurance
Cons:
– Walks around in his underwear

– Not the best guy to learn about respect for authorities

Predictions

Dads have so much to offer. Some dads are very good protectors, while other dads are just full of wisdom. Some dads are good listeners and other dads have released at least three hip-hop albums. My money is on  Cooper from Interstellar. The man raised two kids by himself, he loves cool field trips, he solved the black hole space/time continuum, and he still had time to send messages to his daughter.

What dad do you think won Movie Dad of the Year?

Michael P M

I am a minister for Campus Ambassadors, a gymnastics customer service rep, a social media enthusiast and a writer. I try to collect obscure video games, I love comics and somewhere on Amazon I have a self published book. I am married to a beautiful and grounded woman. But most importantly, I have been seized by a great affection in the Lord.

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